HACKED OFF
A leading UK financial lawyer suffering with a progressive muscle wasting disease hacked his wife to death when she told him she couldn't live with a cripple. The sweetheart. She could live with his wealth it appears but then of course, she'd get half of that in a divorce settlement. What can one say?


LAP IT UP!

The press lap up anything to do with Diana Princess of Wales, so they are bound to crank up the conspiracy theory now that the laptop of Lord Stevens who is heading the current enquiry into her death, has been stolen. Still it does beg the question, what's the 'in' colour this year.


WOMEN - DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT ONE
The lastest schlock in the glossy designer mags is that women are the new men. What clot came up with that one I wonder. So apples are the new grapes, cheese is the new butter, wool is the new silk perhaps and squares are the new circles. One thing is clear, crap is still crap!


NOT SO BELLA STELLA

Stella McCartney's attack on a London pub over the serving of Camel on their lunchtime menu, in which she said that Laurence of Arabia would be turning in his grave at the idea is a bit off the mark. He did in fact eat Camel for breakfast with Howeitat tribesmen, so there.
How about one for the 'Long and Winding Road?' Stella.


KARL LAGER TOP

Karl Lagerfeld, the 72 year old dress maker, says in a magazine article that he thinks Princess Diana was 'stupid' and that Camilla is the life and soul of the party and that if you had to make the choice to live with one or the other she'd be the one. Well its certain there are differences between the two women. For one, Diana actually had a nervous system and could feel. For example, she could feel the presence of Camilla through her entire marriage. Camilla has the emotions of a house brick and doesn't appear to feel anything - except Charles' cod piece. It didn't matter to her if she shagged her husband or Charles or shafted Diana. Diana was attractive, beautiful even. Camilla could model for Horse Dentist Monthly. Of course if Karl had to choose between one or the other he says he would choose Camilla. Old Queens stick together I guess.